Learning about cognition (or re-learning it, because I took a class on Cognitive Psychology in college. I passed it, but I can’t seem to recall any pertinent details of what I had learned. It was a long time ago) made me think of my own information processing experiences and how bits and pieces of how my brain works now makes sense in the light of this learning. Like how, after reading so many sources and articles for two straight hours, my brain can feel “full”. Nothing is entering anymore! I have to stop, play with my kids or paint for a while, because my mind’s gears have refused to keep turning. Turns out, it’s just because my limited cognitive capacity needs time to chunk and process all the new information. Like our stomach needs to digest our food to make space for more. I “rest” my brain for a couple of hours (although truly it is not resting, because it is unconsciously processing information, while my conscious brain is using a different part of its cognitive capacity to create art, or interact with the offspring.) and then when I sit down in front of the computer again, the answers flow from my mind to my fingertips with ease.
It always takes me more time than I expect to finish my modules. There are so many articles to choose from, and videos to watch, and I’m sure not all of it really sticks in my head. I have to learn to filter what is relevant and irrelevant, to really retain what I need to give pertinent feedback in the fora and in my blog. I feel like when I was in college almost 20 years ago, I could just keep reading and reading and writing and writing, my brain is never full, only tired (or hungry). I wonder if I’m at an age of cognitive decline. Research shows that different cognitive skills peak at different stages of adulthood. Information processing speeds peak at 18-19 years old. That was when I was in college! Short term memory starts to decline a little bit later, at around 35 years of age. (Trafton 2015) What a coincidence! I turned 36 last week. My brain is officially getting old. Information processing speeds going down. Short term memory loss is rising.
The other time I felt my brain, specifically my memories, giving out was when I had children. It really felt like every time I have a new baby, my brain turns into mush. I forget if I had done something just a few minutes before. I have to look at my shopping list and cart three times more than I used to because I don’t remember what I had picked up. I can meet a new person and have no idea what their name is literally after 5 minutes. No idea. Like I never heard their name before in my life. The experience of Mommy Brain has a lot anecdotal evidence on the internet, but no real science to back it up. Apparently. Despite jokes about how epidurals cause memory loss (I’ve had three), research shows that a mother’s brain actually grows after childbirth, giving mothers the capacity to do many more things than before, one of which is to feel rewarded by interacting with her infant (Sohn, 2010). The memory loss can possibly be connected to lack of sleep and constant worry, and of course the million and one things that occupy your mind now that you are primary care giver to another human being. Whatever the truth is about “Mommy Brain,” I know for a fact that my cognitive abilities are not what they were before having children.
So here I am, mother of three, at the ripe old age of 36, and first time teacher. My batchmates in the school faculty are 15 years my junior. They should be thinking faster, and remembering things better. And they should have more time on their hands, as single people without having to deal with parental duties at the end of each school day. But I have to say I am holding myself up well, and in some respects I surpass them. Particularly in efficiency. There is really something to be said about learning from experience. And how, even if cognitively, I should be behind my co new-teachers, knowing HOW to manage my time well, because of my experiences as a mother and doing other jobs in the past years has helped me be efficient at my job. Having met a lot of people in the years between college graduation and becoming a teacher, helps me relate better with the myriad of personalities you meet, in students, colleagues, and parents of students as well. Plus my age means I am not as intimidated by older parents. I have a clearer grasp of my priorities, I am not as emotional or distracted, I am less fearful of what other people might think of me. I have a greater capacity for kindness. I am less reluctant to call people out on their bulls#!t. Oh I get much more tired more easily than they do, but their prefrontal cortexes are still developing, and so if the brain is still in development, then cognitive skills and capacities are not really that optimal yet. Perhaps it isn’t fair to compare myself with younger teachers. We are all unique after all. It’s just that I am finding it harder to learn now than before. And I’m happy to know that it’s not that there’s something wrong with me. It’s normal, and there is the science to back that up.
Glisky, E. L. (2007) Brain Aging, Models, Methods, and Mechanisms. Chapter 1 Changes in Cognitive Function in Human Aging. CRC Press, Boca Raton: FL [Retrieved from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK3885/ 31 Oct 2015]
Sohn, E. (2010) Mommy Brain: It’s not what you think. Discovery News. [Retrieved from http://news.discovery.com/human/psychology/mommy-brain-maternal-changes.htm 31 October 2015]
Trafton, A. (2015) The rise and fall of cognitive skills. MIT News. [Retrieved from: http://news.mit.edu/2015/brain-peaks-at-different-ages-0306 31 October 2015.]
Learning to Teach 